Embrace The Rainbow

Embrace The Rainbow
Embrace The Rainbow

Monday, September 12, 2011

Can I just have some Peace in my Life Please (Kitty Kat: Speaks)

  This is what I am asking myself constantly when it comes to my life and all I can think of for a while when the drama starts is about this very question. It is constantly running through my mind when drama starts that I myself did not truly ask for.

  One I am a fair young woman. I don't yell or fight unless it is very necessary or I have lost it and was at my wits end. I have quite a few things I hate being called when someone is starting drama with me and I'm going to share the do's and don't's of what to do and not do when fighting or bringing drama to my life that is against me as a person on a whole level.


1. Never in your life call me a lair (I will start yelling right back at you)
2. Calling me bitch will get you put in a place you don't want to be (It's fine if I call myself a bitch but, others no it just ticks me off that much more when fighting. But when I am calm and we're just talking calling me a bitch doesn't faze me one bit.)
3. Calling me a cunt or a pussy (Although I have a pussy.) That will earn anyone a punch in the mouth. It is the lowest thing you can EVER in your life call anyone.
4. Stupid, moron, idiot or anything that insults my intelligence will in fact earn depending on gender a kick to the groin area or a punch to the mouth.
5. Yelling and getting up in my face while doing it will earn anyone a nice hard punch to the mouth and a lot more.
6. Calling me a whore. (You might as well forget even thinking it.) That will earn anyone that is over the age of 18 and not disabled a fight and a half on their hands.


1. Do walk the fuck away when starting shit with me if you don't want hurt (feelings or other wise.)
2. Do try to speak to me like I am a human being.
3. Do Figure out that a calm voice will not get a yelling match or a fight started when talking with me.
4. Treat me with respect.
5. Treat me like I am somebody not a nobody

  I can be a very bitchy person or a very sweet person. I hate HATE being called a Whore or a cunt or Pussy. I may have a pussy between my legs but, that does not give ANYONE the right to debase and degrade me like that. Lair, being called that has got to be the second worst to call me in a very long list. I can be your best friend in the world or your worst enemy. Fact is people are what makes it hard to think about being nice sometimes.

  I may love my sister that is pregnant dearly but, she has made the mistake of not only yelling at me but she has called me a lair and a bitch and it was very tempting to slap her in the mouth for it. Yet, I stopped because she is pregnant and the fact I'm not wanting to go to jail would be another reason as well. People should understand that I have a heart and I have a soul. I can get mad and say the same things back and do damage. I'm not perfect and I know it and I never wish to be perfect. I am so sick of fighting against things so sick of my sister and the bullshit. I've tried to do exactly what VeeVee told me to do. Don't yell stay calm put her in her place verbally and honestly that just made her yell that much more and I thought being calm, cool, and collected would work when talking to my sister.

  I should have known better. She cried and bitched to our mother about me after she did all that. Yet, I feel no better for my mother telling her she asked for it and I asked for it. It is just justifying her to do it again. Me asking for it means that I was minding my own business when she asks a bitchy question and doesn't think I'll answer to it myself. I "bucked up" against my sister and she was more pissed that I told her what I thought.

  I do not in the least like her baby's father. It isn't the big sister in me either. I could care less about who my sister decides to spend her life with that is ALL on her. I don't like the boy (yes, in my eyes he is a boy he has a lot of growing up to do before he could be seen as grown to me.) because of how he treats animals. I don't mean tossing them off while you eat like I did today with a kitten. I am meaning what I see him do every day to the dogs the cat's the kitten's and yes even the horse's that we own. I have seen him get mad at an animal for no reason and hit them repeatedly in the face. I am glad that my dog passed away over a year ago. Because, if I had seen him hit my dog like he does all the animals around here I would have torn him a new asshole.

  There are a couple other reasons why I don't like the sorry excuse of a boy she's with. He picks the animals the very ones he abuses over the baby that is inside of my sister. Shows no excitement towards having a child what so ever. My sister says I just don't see it. One I see a boy who would rather save money for a TATTOO then to save money for the baby's diapers that she will need!...I find it wrong that he thinks of getting a tattoo first is more important than a child.....I know I am not wrong on this and I am never going to apologize for what I think.

  I know for a fact that in my eyes a man a real man. Would help earn the money for the baby that they helped create. I know that a man who wants to have children would go to every doctor's appointment every little thing that involves baby and mother. I also know my own partners would never in the least treat me like that. Pick something so stupid over me and the child I cared (If and when I did get with child that is! I am not pregnant, YET!) I understand that all of my partners have busy work lives and that they wouldn't be able to break away if and when I do get pregnant. That wouldn't bother me in the least. Because work is important! It is bringing in income so that we can live our lives.

  Mind you I know that also there are many things that Ido not yet know about. I am still trying to find out. Yet, I know how each and every one of my partners feels about a child and also feels about me and me having a child growing inside of me. They all and I do mean ALL of my men want to see life growing inside of me and be apart of that process. I have brought it up many times before because i was afraid that they would not be excited if and when I did get pregnant. They are constantly reminding me that they love me and that they want to be with me because they know I am also scared of losing them.

  So my peace that I am looking for in my life does come through comfort from my partners. It does calm me when I get to talk to them and I can ignore any other drama when I am talking to them. But, when they are at work and I am left to myself at the home I live with my parents in it does get to be a lot of dumb ass drama (talk to them on the computer long distances SUCKS!) So when they get home and I talk to them today I'll be in an okay mood BUT, I will not in the least take it out on them. I plan to talk and get away from the pissed off feeling but, for now I am pissed and angry and hurt and just all the round in a very bad mood.

  To clear a few things up I am PMSing big time. I am very bitchy when I am on the PMS train. Now that doesn't mean I am PMSing on everyone just a certain few blood relations that can kiss my damn white ass. I am not for them to push over and walk all over like I am a damn door mat. I am not a nobody who doesn't have feelings. I am a person a human being who hurts and has feelings and damn it I deserve the same respect I try to give my blood relations on a daily fucking bases. I am a very good sweet kind young woman until you fuck with me so much that I have no more room in the bottle that I put all the hate, all the anger, all the hurt into. When that cork pops off of it the people who have pissed me off regret it. Because, I give it my damn all to give them as much hurt and pain as they have dealt out to me since the bottle started filling again. I know I myself can seem like a bitch at times but, pushing buttons and making me feel worthless just means you set yourself up. (Not directed at anyone that has been there for me. Love you guys and girls to death because you all can make me smile in a matter of just moments!)

Seriously Pissed Off,
Kitty Kat {Meow!}


  1. I would so agree that some men and this is not directed towards all cause there are good men out there are useless sods to be precise.

    Where it comes to you I do digress and without hardship I will surely stick to all the DO'S. My reflection on the 'don't's' are much the same as yours. Back in my teen years I was called a slut. Well said person got themself a broken arm from going through all the trouble of calling me that crass word in the first place. Did I hurt them I ask myself? No cause I didn't feel it since I'm the one to have inflicted the pain to the arse for daring to call me this in a bus load of school kids :grins: Ah thems the good ole days!

  2. *applauds* Some people are not worth the trouble, the energy or the air it would take to fight with them. I'm glad that you identified your "triggers" and you explained yourself well. I'm right there with you with the "Don'ts" and the Do's I will endeavor to remember and only do them. Before something great happens in your life, something horrible will happen to take your focus off the great thing coming your way. Just keep your eyes on the prize honey. And while it didn't work, I'm glad that you took my advice. It shows that you're the bigger person in this situation.

    As for your sister's "Baby Daddy"? Most of them stop being of use as soon as they pull out. That's why they're the Baby Daddy and not the father or the husband or even just the daddy. There's a stigma attached to that and rightly so. Just keep your focus on the amazing partners you have and you'll be fine.

    Eyes on the prize little sis!

  3. Sid- Back in school I was called a trailer trash whore. The girl who said it ended up between the fence and the fence pole of the broken basketball court's fence. I slammed the fence against the girl's back until the teachers pulled me away. Did I feel a thing hell no but, I made sure she felt everything. You see I was a real bitch back in school and I defended myself, my friends, and my family and damn the cost to me. I've never been expelled from school or anything like that but, then again they would have to kick out the people I fought with as well. Yes, afterwards I was in guidance talking things out with the girl I hurt but, I told her like it was. You don't ever in your right mind call another girl a whore let alone a trailer trash whore. No one in school believed I would fight for myself because I had let people slide on it for a year and a half of calling me silly little names. They found that the silly little names didn't bother me but, that the degrading ones would earn you a lot of pain.

    Vee- They are still together but I mean he does nothing to get ready for the baby that is very much near the due date. It is something that I have always thought was stupid. You can be a baby daddy but you can't be a man and step up WTF? It's like the man doesn't care once they slip from your body and achieved what they wanted to. (Getting off as quick as possible without thinking of the outcome.) I have a father (Yes the low life mother fucker I wrote about) He was there for everything but, still he isn't a daddy to me. My Papa (Adopted hehe) he would be a daddy, he did everything for his son (Big Brother's Hubby hehe) even though he gave him up because he couldn't raise him properly or so he thought. Daddy Mich (Yes I call him Daddy) he is more of a daddy to me although I don't see much of him. I am keeping my eyes on the prize or at least trying to I have had a good night talked to a few of my loved ones last night. (You know I love to give back massages and I need to stock up on my oils before I go down there! Can you imagine all the damn fun that could start MHM!) I am so ready to get to the goal and to the prize. (Now mind you I still have a ways to go but, when I get there nothing will be stopping me.

    ~Hugs and squeezes both Sid and VeeVee~ I am majorly happy right now. Something I have been meaning to get around to though is telling you both how damn sweet you both are! Sid I know your having it tough right now but you and your family can and will make it through it. Vee hehe you got that date this friday and man am I excited about all of that and you are beautiful amazing and caring and everything else I have said about you rings true on a daily bases. Love you both!

  4. Kat you are a sweetheart! Thank you for that. And I'm glad that you're focusing on your goal. Some women never learn to walk away from the men who don't appreciate them, the ones who bring them grief and headache. Tough love states that we just leave them to it, as long as they are not being abused. If they are we try to help, but only as much as they let us. The only thing you can really do is to try to be there for the baby when it's born to show him or her what a real adult looks like and what love truly is.

    BTW, check out my blog (you and Sid) I thank you both AND today we had a date BEFORE our date on Friday. It was AWESOME!!! I'm so excited as well.

  5. ~Squeezes you and breathes deeply~ I'll go check it out hehe you are such a sweet heart yourself!

    Tough love sounds about what I have to do. I am going to try to be there for the baby as much as I can.