Little sister Having a baby

  I guess I should start off with this is my nineteen year old sister that is pregnant. She is nearly at her due date and is driving me bonkers. We used to have a great relationship. Until she started complaining and yelling at me. I love her to death, but sometimes I just can not handle all of that.

  People might think that this is mean, but I never understood that pregnancy could make you do and say things you normally would not. She has hormones flying every where. Yet, I am proud to say that the baby and her are doing fine.

Oh yeah I forgot to mention IT'S A GIRL!!

I've always wanted to see a baby girl from her and I hope and pray that she'll let me hold the baby as soon as I come to visit her after labor and delivery. Lol. That is still a couple months away, but still that is what I am hoping for. I love my sister to death she just doesn't realize how much. If she did we wouldn't have so many problems. Or so I think. It's just me I guess not knowing but taking it one step at a time is what I am trying to do. Let's hope that I can do it that a way.

Family

   I come from a large family. I have two brothers and three sisters. I have never been left alone by my family. Does this mean I love them any less? NO! I just get tired of having to say that I am an mini-adult and have not been alive this long to get told what to do right and left. I have so many thoughts that I always somehow need to let them out.

   Most people might think that I hate my family, but I can say for a fact that I love them very much. My baby brother is turning seven this year and the other baby brother is turning eighteen. Man time sure flies by. I'll be turning 21 right before my sister that is younger than me turns 20. My youngest sister is 12. I have one older half sister who is 37. I have always been the oldest out of my mothers children. So that put a lot of burdens on my shoulders. My father is 57 nearly 58 years of age and my mother is 40 almost 41 years of age,

   Just because I was the oldest doesn't mean I didn't get tired of it. I did a lot of the time because I didn't want to be the only role model they had. Yet, sadly I was for most of my life the only one that was being there and doing what I should have been. When I stopped well it all went down hill and my sister ShayShay (Nickname) picked up the slack that I gave to her. I guess she didn't like it.

   It's still hard for me today to be the perfect role model for my siblings that my parents want. I feel that I should live my life and not let everyone else pull me every which way. Perhaps that is what is wrong with me in this matter. I don't know I have a few  more months to figure it all out. At least I hope I do before I move away from them.