Family

   I come from a large family. I have two brothers and three sisters. I have never been left alone by my family. Does this mean I love them any less? NO! I just get tired of having to say that I am an mini-adult and have not been alive this long to get told what to do right and left. I have so many thoughts that I always somehow need to let them out.

   Most people might think that I hate my family, but I can say for a fact that I love them very much. My baby brother is turning seven this year and the other baby brother is turning eighteen. Man time sure flies by. I'll be turning 21 right before my sister that is younger than me turns 20. My youngest sister is 12. I have one older half sister who is 37. I have always been the oldest out of my mothers children. So that put a lot of burdens on my shoulders. My father is 57 nearly 58 years of age and my mother is 40 almost 41 years of age,

   Just because I was the oldest doesn't mean I didn't get tired of it. I did a lot of the time because I didn't want to be the only role model they had. Yet, sadly I was for most of my life the only one that was being there and doing what I should have been. When I stopped well it all went down hill and my sister ShayShay (Nickname) picked up the slack that I gave to her. I guess she didn't like it.

   It's still hard for me today to be the perfect role model for my siblings that my parents want. I feel that I should live my life and not let everyone else pull me every which way. Perhaps that is what is wrong with me in this matter. I don't know I have a few  more months to figure it all out. At least I hope I do before I move away from them.