Big Brothers & My Adopted Family && My Loves

  I have two adopted big brothers. I will not tell you their names as I do not have their permission to tell you that. I was 17 when I first met them and I thought I was IN love with them. Well I was but sometimes things are not meant to be. I love them as my brothers now and I wouldn't trade that for the world. They love me like my blood family should have always loved me.

  I remember while we were still together and they would call me that my mother would steal the phone away and run to a different room and lock me out of it. At first I didn't know what was being said and then I realized that she didn't say it to my face because she didn't want me knowing how she felt.

  I now know that she would tell both of my big brothers that I should be made into a housewife. Taught my place. ~Laughs softly~ Oh hell the one told her that they wanted me to follow my heart and go for my dreams...That was a big mistake because it made my mother work harder to get us separated.

   I still love them both dearly and I always will they are a part of my adopted family and they treat me like a real family should. We have our problems still sure, but that doesn't mean that they don't love me still you know? I find myself crying and thinking of good memories and all I can do is think I messed up. Everything feels like I am falling off the edge of the world. I feel like I can at the drop of a dime ball like a big old baby. I am trying hard to stand on my own and not lean on my adopted family or anyone and it kills because they want to protect me and make the tears go away.

  My loves are just like that as well everyone wants to make it all better for me. I'm scared to let them because every time Ii get close to someone my blood family tries to ruin many of the things already built. I used to be such an angry young girl back then. Now, well I am well on the way of recovering from my short temper.

 Oh yeah and I am still NOT a housewife. My mother still can't get me to want to be a housewife like her and it is killing her. My big brothers understand that I don't wish to be just a housewife. My Love's also understand that that is not the only thing I want in my life. Every day I feel like crying but, I try to keep my thoughts positive. Now I am going to focus on gaining the life that I want.

  I am more than ready to become the woman I need to be and should be. With the help of my adopted family and my loves I do believe I will more then make it happen! Don't you think so, too?