Friday, September 23, 2011
Searching The Stars
I watched the night sky late last night and will again tonight. I counted the stars like I did when I was just a small child. I felt like for once I could still be me and watch a star fall or sparkle. I never knew how stars could be like people and like life until I sat watching the stars.
I wished upon a star that twinkled last night. It felt so much like when I was a small child of about five years old. Yet, the wishes are different when you are older. One day your wishing upon the stars for a bicycle and the next it is wishing that your life would turn out just the way it should.
My wishes, My Dreams, My hopes & My heart & soul goes into many of my thoughts. Sometimes I don't know how to keep my mouth shut and I hurt with my words. Other times I can be a sweet loving woman that is care free. I struggle with many things that aren't always something I can bring myself to talk about.
I know what has happened is never able to be taken back. Wishing can be harmless but your words are not harmless. There are power in words. No matter what you say but, be careful of what you say and do.
I have always wished upon stars rather than praying as much as I should have. Perhaps I should watch what I say that could hurt people that I love. Many people just see what I write on the screen. But, others see how I can be truly on some things.
I found a star when I was 15 and wished upon it. I wished never to be alone. When I turned 16 I wished for equality for all and peace. When I was 17 I wished upon the stars to have a long happy life with people who would love me. When I turned 18 I wished for strength and I started praying for it as well. The night I turned 19 I wished to smile more for years to come. I do that every day but life is still hard. When I turned 20 I wished for something that was simple. To have a family of my own and it will still happen ever though I am telling a wish because it's also a prayer. Now getting ready to celebrate just living I want to pray and wish for peace, happiness, love for one and all. No matter the race, sexuality, it's no matter who you are. I am not going to let anything get in my way of living the way I need to live not ever again.
So as I start my wishing tonight I want to think of all the good in the world. There is still good in the world no matter how hard it is to find. I want to remember that love and happiness exists and all the hatred in the world that is out there is just to distract us from the life we should be living. I am never going to let anything else distract me from living my life to the fullest.