Sunday, September 18, 2011
Dark Hunger (Story)
Dark hunger holds me into place as a slow deep lust builds up inside of me no one knows this feeling is inside of me. No one knows that it comes up every time the word slut comes out of their mouth. I lust for blood so rich and deep red. To see it pour would make me the happiest person alive. Richness of the blood is determined by why you want it to begin with. Lust for death in a person makes the blood tainted. So the richness of this blood is tainted due to what I want. You might ask all the things that you think you need to know but you can never truly tell if I am telling everything when it comes to the blood lust of my hatred.
Must I start with the beginning of life before I had the lust for blood? I was human once just like you are now. Was the happiest little bitch in the world but I was bitter with my parents my family my blood family. Everyone always told me I was stupid I was born Jaid Roxy McNeil in Feb. 18th of 1774. Being the daughter of a wealthy shipyard owner wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. My mother was a proper lady so unlike myself that I have always had a hatred for her. Siblings where always there I love the youngest brother and sister to death never will I drain their blood like I wish to of the other three of my siblings. I was 20 years old and still living at home. A man from my childhood had been offering for my hand for quite some time now. I did not want that kind of life which my mother had. Simple with no adventures no life of her own except through her children. I was determined to lose the interest of this boy-man no matter what it took.
My father had been pushing me to marry for nearly four years. I had no one that suited my fancy, the boys where just that boys. I wanted a man who knew how to have fun and have a blast and could make me smile and make me happy. This was going to be a long few months for me. I had reached the part of my life where I was restless. My family had not wanted their first child to be a girl. I felt unloved and always was I the one who tried to please my family. So in order to starve them out and make them let me have my own life I went out in public with this boy-man.
I noticed that on our horseback riding trips in the park that he was always looking around seeming as if someone else was watching us other than the people that I could see. Jealousy is a bad evil when it comes to men and women. I think I would have been alright if I had never agreed to go with this boy-man. Balls and parties were dull yet the dresses I wore made me feel like a queen. This boy-man never got to fill my dance card at any of the dances we went to it was improper to do so and not be engaged. My cousins and younger brother had the first dance always and the last. This was fine by me because I had no intention of marrying the fool who could not strike a conversation up with me. I had a brain and I knew how to use it.
On such an event I noticed someone I had never seen before. His skin was paler than that of the others around. He held an alluring air about him but it felt dangerous to seek his affections. So I being the young lady that I am wanted that danger. I walked up near this tall handsome man and curtsied. “How do you do Sir?” He just looked at me his deep golden eyes held mine I had never seen eyes this color before they transfixed me. “Young lady, you should be dancing with the young boy you always dance with at these events. He seems more your type don’t you think?” I just nodded and ran off to the gardens tears in my eyes not understanding what made me even go over to that man. I ran into the boy-man then with another young maiden. They were kissing and all I could think to say was “Well this is why it’d never be because I do not love you and you cannot be true.” He just looked up and smirked and went back to what he was doing so I went further into the gardens the maze was close. Slipping into the maze was something of a challenge for that night I had a deep purple ball gown on that made it hard to breathe. I told my mother they were trying to kill me with these contraptions but they just laughed and sent me on my way.
Getting to the middle of the maze was rather tougher than when I was in my normal attire and could breathe easier than I could at this point in time. Jerking on the corset that was tight on my body I loosened it to where I was able to take deeper breaths comfortably. This caused no problems until I heard a voice “Do you not think that is improper for a young lady such as yourself?” I turned and looked up into the deep golden eyes I had seen just moments before and gulped softly before replying “I don’t care if it is improper I want to be able to breathe not suffocate under all this hot fabric. Men think it is easy to go riding or to balls in this stuff for us it is not so easy. Now if you’ll excuse me I should be getting back to the party.” Turning I didn’t even see his hand grab mine and pull me hard up against his body struggling to get free I felt his breath on my neck so cold yet it thrilled me. He let me go and upon release I just stood there. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it so electrifying to me.
“You my dear have held my eye for nearly five years. It is time to claim you as mine will you do me the honors of becoming my bride this night?” I froze as this was the first time I ever saw him in my life I whispered so softly “I have only just met you. If you want my hand you must ask my father if he gives his permission then I shall marry you.” He presses his lips to my knuckles once again and simply replies “I will have you no matter his answer be prepared to be mine, little one.” He disappears through the maze and I soon follow all I want is to get home to see if that is where he will be. Getting to my parents’ home was a very long ride back my brother not wishing to leave so my cousin had to leave with me instead. He knew the person that I had stepped up to and whispered softly in my ear “He will treat you like the woman you wish to be. You will have everything that you ever need or want but it has a price my dearest cousin. I love you and this life of the night for me suits me just fine but I doubt it will for you.” I stare up at him only asking him what he means and he just tells me that I must be prepared for a lot of changes. Upon arrival I notice a black horse tied up by the reins and just smile as the horse is the one my cousin owns and sometimes rides to the house at night when he visits. Stepping out of the carriage with the help of my cousin I find my father coming out and taking me roughly by the arm yelling “How could you snub the richest man in the country for a rake who has all but ruined you already!!” My cousin grips his arm roughly and forces him away from me and glares ready for a fight I try to dodge the two but my mother is blocking my way. I loathe them yet I have no wish to watch this fight. Hearing my cousin speaking is refreshing “You ever lay a hand on her again and you will not just have him to deal with you will have me as well. He loves her has for five years! He has come to you since she was 15 years of age for her hand and you have refused. He has been faithful to her and her alone these last five years. Yet you still have said no. She would be more than loved she would be worshiped and held dear for the rest of their lives.” Amazed that my cousin would buck up to my father I just stare at them for the longest time until I am placed back into the carriage and taken to a place I have never been before.
Deep into the forests we went until we got to another carriage and stopped. I was so scared of what was going on I had never ran away from my family before no matter how many times I had thought about it. The man that had asked for my hand got out of that deep blue carriage and swung me up into his arms crushing me tight to his body.
This isn't exactly the end it's just where I had stopped months ago. It's dark and I know it and some how it really just seems to fit into a very deep part of my mind. Dark and not as sweet as many think I am. I can be sweet but, the darker side of me just comes out and this was one of the things I started writing when I was in a darker mood. Don't know maybe it'll turn a bit lighter in the end who knows. I'll see how it'll go sooner or later.