Embrace The Rainbow

Embrace The Rainbow
Embrace The Rainbow

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Coming out (For me)

So I am finding more and more stories about men and women who have come out to friends and family. Both good reactions and bad reactions.

    I knew myself I was different when I was younger but, honestly I didn't fully know until I kissed my first girl when I was 16. I have had to many bad things going on the year before that when I finally came out it was insane.

   Let me back track for a moment. Middle school I was always teased and picked on for being different in the sense I didn't have brand name clothing and my hair and everything they could find. It continued on into high school. I made one of the worst mistakes of my life soon after I turned 15. I left my normal high school for an online one. I struggled to get past the papers and the work they wanted done online with no teacher there to help explain I was stuck doing it alone and getting redo after redo. I hated it.

   I can honestly say that the following year or so was amazingly different. I was 16 getting ready for Halloween. Big home coming game for my old high school. I went to it because I still loved football. I enjoyed watching both the males on the field and the cheerleaders that cheered on our home team. ~Sighs softly at the memories~ My best friend was a cheerleader and I thought she was to die for. She was done for the evening cheering so she and I walked out to her car to talk. Her boyfriend and ex boyfriend had followed us. I told them to go away. I hadn't talked to my friend in nearly six months...I wanted some time to just talk with her.

   My friend and I had been so tired of males and it was weird she asked if I was into girls. I hyperventilated I didn't know how to tell her the answer. So my first kiss with her was really on a dare from the boyfriend and ex. But, we didn't blasted care if the boys got turned on or not. We enjoyed the kiss and once we had finished I told her that yes I liked girls as well as guys. I also told her I wanted and needed to walk and talk with her around the track on our side of the field and we did. (I told the boys if they followed us I'd punch them both in the mouth and they'd remember as to way I didn't care for either one of them. They were in part both assholes and only wanted sex with my best friend. So yes they pissed me off.)

   I told my parents that night that I was bisexual as well but they laughed it off as if I hadn't said it. Well after I turned 17 I told my parents again that I was indeed bisexual. I wasn't to polite about it though. I do believe my words were along these lines. "Mother, Father, I am bisexual I love the thought of pussy and cock. I also love the fact that a woman knows just what another woman wants and needs at times where a man does not. I want to fuck both a man and a woman and whatever you think you can fuck off." Then I walked on to my room and started working on my school work their jaws wide open I yelled into the kitchen and told them to close their mouths before the flies started going down their throats. I was tired of denying myself and denying what I wanted. I started dating two men soon after coming out as I did and that was after I had lost my grandpa Lester.

  My mother still to this day thinks I am going to settle down with just one man. I hate to break it to people but, I won't settle down with just one single man. That is not me. I won't settle down with one woman either. I have partners.You see my mother and father still haven't gotten that into their heads. That's okay Ii only stay civil with them because they are blood. No other reason. What love there was for them as my parents has been gone for some time now. (Sorry as I may feel for that. I've tried to settle things between us they just won't accept me fully. Because of me wanting all my partners The fact that I am not their PERFECT daughter the straight one. ~Rolls her eyes~ I'm not straight I never have been. I have always looked at both men and women. So tough luck and to bad to them. Accept me or no.)

  I am now 20 years old will be 21  February. It does get better as you go on. It is for me I just have to keep reminding myself that not everyone is as narrow minded as my family and some of the others I have had to tell. It just still scares me. I am Bisexual and damn proud of that fact. I have partners that love me and wouldn't have me any other way but, myself. I still have normal every day problems as everyone else in the world does. That only means that I am living my life to the fullest possible and working through problems and life one day at a time.

  I am not in the least sorry for writing any of this. It's the truth no matter how people may see me for it. I love hard and I live harder. It gets better and it's getting better for me everyday. One step at a time.


  1. Oh Kat! We're both sitting here reading this and feel like we got this really special glimpse into your soul. It's so incredible how honestly you write. You are a real inspiration to us, and this makes us want to write and live with even more honesty. We just want to say how lucky we are to have met you (even if it's through online contact). You are truly a beautiful pearl of a person! And that's the honest truth.

    Matty and Brad {sending you HUGE HUGZ!}

  2. I write what I feel you guys. I don't know any other way to write. I've had a hell of a hard time fighting myself when I was younger. I LOVE women and I LOVE men. It doesn't get any more honest than that. I can not wait to do the things that make me happy. (Knowing you guys is amazing because you are great together. Even though it's online.) Lord you have me smiling a lot. I'm going to email you guys I need some advice from you two on things. I rather not ask through comments.