Embrace The Rainbow

Embrace The Rainbow
Embrace The Rainbow

Thursday, November 10, 2011

The day before today.

  When you have known a boy for as long as I have you'd never think that the very same boy could make you uncomfortable in anyway shape or form. WRONG! I was so totally wrong.

  The boy is honestly a man of 21 years of age. nearing 22 years of age. I can't get this out of my head. He wanted me to sleep with him and he wouldn't take "Go to hell." for an answer. Before I get to ahead of myself. THANK GODS my roommate was in the house with me and him. I think honestly that was the only thing stopping him from trying more than being an annoying ass. I was scared though and uncomfortable. I was shaking by the time my roommate's boyfriend got off of work. I mean yeah I'm 20 but, I'm with my partners lock stock and barrel as the saying goes.

  When my roommate left to go somewhere she took me with her. She didn't leave me in the house with her boyfriend, the boy and another man by myself. She knew the boy was creeping me out and making me uncomfortable that much more. I've had to deal with this one other time from a different male. I was scared then as I was yesterday.

  I'm still scared because that very same boy is supposed to come back to help my parents over at their trailer. He freaks me dead the fuck out. I locked the door when my roommate and her boyfriend left for only 10 maybe 20 minutes because that boy was still here. YES, he did come back and YES he went away when I told him my roommate wasn't home. THAT still didn't make me comfortable because all the shit he had said before. I am an out-going person BUT I am also one who trusts as far as I can throw a person. (Which isn't far. This is face to face people I am with.) I trust online friends more than I trust a person face to face because I have been hurt before. Everyone may think. "Damn she has a lot of issues. Or damn she has a lot of uncomfortable moments." Well it comes with past and sometimes present things that happen to me. I try to hold my own fear in until people are away from me that make me uncomfortable.

  My mother and older sister laughed about the boy trying to "get into my pants." They thought it was funny. They would have thought it even funnier if I had chopped off his dick like I wanted to when he kept looking at me then nodding to my damn bedroom door! ~Takes a deep breath~ I don't find anything about what was going on funny. Why should anyone else? Why should they have thought it funny? I was scared for gods sake. Very scared and I did have a knife next to me while it all was going on so my roommate knew what I was thinking every time my hand reached for the knife. I am not aware what made this idiot even think about trying to "get into my pants" when I have told him I have partners!

  Males and females have to realize a few things. What you say to someone else anyone with anything. You have to take what they say and their body language into account. It's like this. If you are with someone and you wanted sexual contact and the other person was uncomfortable you'd know just by their body language. Taking every detail into account will save you a lot of trouble. Meaning what you say also is something people need to take into account.

  Alright now I think I can quit shaking for a while and go dance and sing to calm down. I'm still scared. I can admit it and writing this did help lessen the emotions building up inside myself and my mind off of other things.


  1. I'm sorry that happened to you and I agree, not funny at all. Hugs

  2. Hugs back....Thanks Big Brother I just feel tired and drained when things like this happen. I didn't feel safe and I have a comfort zone around the place with my roommate and her boyfriend. So I'll be fine they'll protect me when they are here. (They go out sometimes)