College and Life

College is like a breath of fresh air. I've needed it for so long that I thought I'd never get it. It's online and I am really enjoying it. Being five weeks into the first course I feel as though I'm floating and can do no wrong. I just feel like I'm doing everything right now. Mostly I find that I knew what I wanted all along and I should have just went for it. I'm going for Business Management (Concentrating on Small Business.) I am hoping that when I graduate that I'll be able to go to Chicago and get my diploma. Let us hope that I can.


I've been gone quite a few months from blogging but I still keep tabs on the people I care about. I don't really comment much anymore but I do read. I've just had a lot on my mind and a lot going on. I keep hoping that others will understand why I've been gone and not hold it against me. I've not even commented on a yahoo group I'm apart of in a long time now. I wish that I could go to GRL this year but well I know that isn't going to happen. That's alright I'll work on that slowly and I'll get there one of these years as long as they keep doing it. :) We'll see what happens.

What I've learned about myself recently.

I've learned a lot of things about myself in recent weeks. Some good things and some bad things. Yet, I'm no worse for wear. I sit here thinking about all these things and realize that I am on a track that will help me become a better person.

Everyone I know calls me a bitch or lazy. The truth is I just don't want to do something because it is not a request it is a demand. I don't need my family members demanding me to do everything that they want and leaving little time to do what I want. I need to do things that I want to do. I need to write and need to think and want to read, paint and draw. If I'm lazy because I don't do everything for them then yeah guess it is kinda true in their opinion.

I've learned that no matter how hard I try or how little I try I am always going to get yelled at for not doing enough. So What do you do? Me I tend to tune it all out until I can't any longer. This happens a lot more than I wish to admit.

I've also learned that I have more dreams and very little support for it. I want to tell my family what I want to do with my life they just brush me aside and talk about what they think I should do with my life. It's not their life to live it's mine. So I find myself getting upset a lot about this. I know I can't do anything to get them to take a real interest in what I want to do and that is okay. What isn't is that they disregard anything I want to do.
 
I also learned that I have some issues with spelling at times. I also have issues with my eyes when reading. It blurs and the eye doctor told me years ago now that I had a problem with my eyes due to reading in dim light for so many years. I love to read and have always loved reading. So it's hard when I'm reading and the words blur together as though my eyes are unfocused. Taking ten minutes of not reading helps it to go away. It kinda scares me though.

I think at night why do I feel like a failure and the answer is because I feel like I have failed. I feel like I have gone no where in life so far. That is another thing I learned about myself. That I am to hard on myself.  That I am scared of a lot more than I ever had thought about before.

I also know that it is okay that being me is alright.

The Purple Cage (Blurb I think)

  Okay so I thought a lot of people didn't understand what I meant when I said I was just lurking and writing. Well here is something that I have been working on lately. The story is already past 16,000 words and I am hoping that it gets well up into the 20,000 plus word count. I love writing this story and I love seeing how my mind takes the characters words and puts them up.

  The Purple Cage came about because of a dream and honestly it isn't supposed to be true at all to reality. It is just supposed to be based off my dream and honestly it works for me. There are so many books out there and well I'd like to add a few more from my own head to the reading shelves of readers. I don't expect everyone to like it. Hell I don't expect anyone to really understand why I am writing this in the first place. Just know it came about during a very stressful time in my life and it has helped calm me a lot more than anyone could know.

  I've not talked about it with anyone and honestly I just don't wish to because this is my own personal issue that I have to deal with. I can say now with a straight face and not much pain in my heart that I am single. That's all I'll say because it's all that is needed to be known. I've taken a few steps back to get control over not only my life but over myself. The Purple Cage is something that came from a lot of dreaming and a lot of hurting. At some point I just threw myself into writing and writing and even more writing. In less than oh three or so months I have wrote more in this story than any of the others I started combined. I don't want pity I just want to explain what I was feeling and how I am feeling now. I love this story because it has a lot of different relationships in it and a lot of drama and a lot of hell going around. It is FANTASY. It's not supposed to hurt anyone's feelings or have people think that I don't care about a certain type of person it is just what it is. Now onto the blurb which doesn't give away much. Not to mention I also have other stories lined up which makes this Story One of I think about five or six not exactly sure because I am not looking at my notes at this moment. Blurb down below.>>>>>



 

        The Purple Cage is one of the most feared places that The School of Blue have to put the fear of god into their students. Katrine is one such student that has the misfortune along with her friends. There had been many before them and some have stayed there reaching adulthood. The thing about the purple cage and the people though is that the Purple People plant that they eat turns them into the Purple People. This might cause serious issues if they don't keep themselves in check. Welcome to the hell that is known as The Purple Cage.





I hope you liked the blurb as much thought as I put into it before even showing it to a friend on skype. This friend told me to write to my hearts content and to make sure I didn't stop until it was done. Love him to death. Plus love Cherie Noel, Matty & Brad, & Vicktor who all inspire me to keep writing when I really just want to give up and delete it all. I won't though because that would get me no where.

2013 & some updates

So I've been gone again for a while. I've made it to 2013. So now what? Well let's see I've been writing non-stop in a story I've named "The Purple Cage" It's really very long topping at this point at roughly 16,000 words. I've tried really hard with it and this is one of the ones I think I'll end up finishing. I've gotten so much to think about that it's harder to even say. I think perhaps I won't even share it and just keep on keeping on. I'm happy truly happy that the new year is here and that I've been writing the story that I've been dreaming up for weeks now.


I'm doing well to be very honest. I have been lurking on all the blogs I follow and barely commenting I should really come out of lurking because I really do miss letting others know that I'm there for them. I just really didn't want to bother them with all my thoughts. So I lurked and lurked some more and commented very little.


I'll try to do better with commenting at some point for now I'm just going to write and try to finish this book.

Until laters,

Love yas,
Katty Kat